Theses and Dissertations - UTB/UTPA

Date of Award


Document Type


Degree Name

Master of Fine Arts (MFA)


Creative Writing

First Advisor

Dr. Emmy Perez

Second Advisor

Dr. Steven Schneider

Third Advisor

Dr. Jean Braithwaite


This thesis is a collection of poems about my experience realizing that I was transgender, working through my feelings prior to this realization, the moment of realization, and the fallout that comes afterword. It begins by dealing with the feelings of depression and alienation that accompany unrecognized feelings of gender dysphoria, examining feelings of disconnect from the body, the mind, and everyday life. It builds to the slow realization of being a trans woman, a woman taught to be a man by society, and the joy and relief that comes with that epiphany. Finally it looks at what comes afterword, the fears and hopes that come as the poems look towards the future, and begin to examine trans issues from a more political standpoint, externalizing the issues that were internalized in the earlier poems.


Copyright 2014 Joshua Murray. All Rights Reserved.

Granting Institution

University of Texas-Pan American